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Can I be honest with you?
I don’t usually get this personal with this site.
I enjoyed Halloween Alliance even before it was mine (I began writing for HA in 2007 and bought it in 2017).
And in all that time — sixteen years now (has it really been that long?) — I’ve focused on monsters and myth, movies that stop the heart and make the blood run cold, creepy DIY to scare the neighbors with…heck, pretty much anything dark.
Except my own mind.
And that’s where the “it gets personal” part comes in.
Who Doesn’t Love a Dark Mind?
Raise your hand if you don’t like a dark mind.
Yup…just what I thought. I love them too. In fact, I have one. My head goes to places other people’s minds don’t — to the shadowy spaces, the places with cobwebs between old bed posts, to anything covered with a sheet that just might move the moment you look away.
But when dark turns to depression…well, now we’ve got a problem, Houston.
And that’s where I’ve been for a few months: in a place that’s just a little too dark. It’s why I haven’t been here.
Have you missed me? I’ve missed you. I’m so very glad to be back with my spooky crew. But it took some doing to get here.
And it took the summer coming up — and a genius move on my husband’s part.
Summer Has Always Meant Halloween to Me
Sounds weird? Well, your morbid mistress has never claimed to be quite in line with the normal, so I’m sure you’re not surprised.
Let me explain.
I grew up in a locale with four very distinct — dare I say extreme? — seasons. And summer was the last “hurrah” before cooler weather crept in.
While I loved the crispness and colors of autumn, the year’s third season did after all mean a trend toward chilly, and then cold, and then Hell No, I’m Not Going Out in This. (Folks, hang in there. There’s a point coming up.)
That made fall all the more special. It was the last piece of going-out weather, a last blaze of color before the trees dropped their foliage and became bare for the following five months.
So when I was whooping it up during the summer, it was in the back of my mind that tiny little tops and cutoff shorts and iceless roads were all temporary conditions. And autumn’s deliciously bony, beckoning finger was the proof.
That added an element of excitement. Summer was all about play, but afterward…FALL WAS COMING. Beautiful, hearbreaking, spooky fall. (Oh. Em. Gee.)
Which leads us to why I was thinking about Halloween…in June.
It’s going to be summer very soon. Here in SoCal, we’re all preparing for the one hundred degree days by getting our air conditioning fixed and stocking up on cheap, wonderful Fla-Vor-Ices. (Squeeze me some sugar, baby.)
And that made my husband do something absolutely awesome.
I Know We’re Both Pushing It, But…
I was in a dark place, folks. Very, very dark. Meds, therapy and a trust in neither.
And then, just the other day, my husband put on Ghost Adventures.
The show always gives me a chuckle, I’ll admit. So “Dude, what the fuck was that?” and Aaron’s huge terrified eyes and Zak turning cartwheels to make the demons “come into” him, then running like hell once they showed up, all got me in the spooky spirit.
And that sudden sharp-breathed thrill reminded me of something.
No matter how bad things may get, there IS a future. Life IS still moving. (And death, apparently, at least according to Zak.) And believe it or not, if you reach hard enough, there just might be something to look forward to — no matter how hopeless things seem.
I’m Back in the Spirit
I know you see what I did there. After all, every single person who reads this blog is my kindred dark little soul. (And I love you all, by the way.)
I got so excited for fall (yep, I am pushing it) that I even bought a new set of Tarot cards. They look absolutely amazeballz. (I’ll take pictures and write a review after I’ve tried them out for a bit.)
So, my friends…the witch is back! And I’d love to hear from you. Check us out on Facebook or leave a comment below.
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for staying spooky.
And thanks for reading about my Poe-esque existential crisis. We live and we learn. And we haunt. Sometimes even before summer hits.
Look for more content as we head closer to Creepy Season!
Dark is fun. Depression is not.
If you are experiencing depression, or if you suspect that someone you know is suffering, there is help. Search reviews and check your medical insurance for a qualified health care practitioner near you.
If you are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Prevention Lifeline IMMEDIATELY. I promise you they’ll be cool.